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Facebook Tags and Privacy

If you tag someone in a post or a photo, then their friends will be able to like or comment on your post or photo, even if they are not your friend too.

The first couple of times this happened to me, it startled me.

You can click on Home, Privacy Settings, and customize your tag settings. I recommend setting the profile review and tag review to on. For the general public, I recommend setting the bottom 2 settings on that screen to off: tag suggestions and friends can check you into places.

If you are a public figure and are comfortable with others checking you into places, some choose to change that final setting on friends can check you into places to on.

Facebook has created a guide to Facebook tagging which has useful information.

How to Hide the New Facebook Chat

If you don’t like the new FB chat sidebar, you can hide it. Go to the lower right hand corner of your sidebar. You will see a circle with sprockets. Click on that circle. If you uncheck available to chat, you will not be visible for chat. If you click on hide sidebar, the sidebar will disappear. When you do this, the sidebar will disappear. You can later re-open by clicking on the Chat button in the lower right hand corner.

Jury Duty Matters

Jury Dutyphoto © 2008 j | more info (via: Wylio)
I wonder how many people who criticize the Casey Anthony jury have tried to get out of jury duty when they were called.

There was a time, before I served on a jury, when I was one of those whose life was so busy there was no way I wanted the inconvenience of it. I tried to think of angles to avoid serving my time.

Then, a few years ago, I was summoned to serve on a grand jury. I’m not allowed to discuss what we considered or heard. After our jury proceedings concluded, parents were indicted in the death of a baby, and those parents have since been convicted.

It wasn’t convenient to serve. When I was called, I thought I would be out at noon and left my teens at home. Then I was stuck all day and got one phone call to call my teens, tell them, and pray they didn’t get into trouble all day. How inconvenient.

My time on that jury was the most heart-breaking experience of my life. Grand jury is different from a traditional jury in that we were sequestered in a room and were able to request evidence and question witnesses. During that time, I realized how important it was that I was there, along with all the other jurors in the room. We all brought different perspectives and experiences to the process. Each of us had something to contribute.

I realized then that if everyone who’s savvy figures out ways to get out of jury duty, then we can’t complain about the results the justice system brings to bear.

Parts of my time as a grand juror still haunt me. However, I would be haunted more if I had wriggled my way out of jury duty and was then dissatisfied with verdicts rendered in other cases.

Let’s resolve to shift thinking such that jury duty is once again a duty we keep and never again try to shirk.

My Best Mother’s Day Gift

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!photo © 2006 James | more info (via: Wylio)
Flowers, cards, and presents are great gifts on Mother’s Day, and I love them all.

But I got the best Mother’s Day gift of my life before I had children, 20 years ago, when I was getting ready to marry my husband Richard.

Statistics suggest that daughters of divorce, with absentee fathers, are more likely to divorce themselves and raise their children as single parents. With Divine Intervention, and my luck in finding one of the good guys, those statistics are less accurate than the fortune I get in my cookie at the end of a meal at a Chinese restaurant.

My children don’t have to know that hollow feeling of being on their own and never having the support of their father. They see him at their concerts, holidays, and at dinner almost every night. He’s the quiet, steady worker they know will bust his tail and build his business to provide for them and build a good life for all of us. They know he believes in them, as do I, and that we will always be in their corner, cheering them on and perhaps sometimes nudging them forward, with some nudges stronger than others.

Each time I see him teach our kids something, or spend time with them, I get a small, miraculous Mother’s Day present more precious than anything that can be wrapped in a package.

I get to see that childhood scripts can be flipped, we do get 2nd chances, and our American dream of building a better life for our children than what we had really can come true.

Thanks, Richard.

Peace on earth and in the checkout lane

“America is going to rot!” the man in front of me ranted at the bread store. “Our government has no money. What will happen when they break down and everyone owes money?”

“Look at all these people shopping with money they don’t have? Why don’t they quit?”

He said all this to the checkout clerk.

Every store owner’s dream is to have a customer yelling in the front of the store to quit spending money. Not. But the clerk handled him perfectly.  She acknowledged his concern and told him she wished they could talk more, but she needed to check out customers.  I felt more comfortable when he finally left the building.

“Peace on earth,” I told her. What a fantastic sales clerk.  Her eyes met mine, and she knew I got it too.

“Good will to men,” she answered.

“Are you sexist? Why didn’t you say good will to men AND women!” the woman in line behind me interjected.

The clerk continued working and answered her, “I mean good will to every man, woman, and child God put on the earth.”

What an answer. Once again, she perfectly handled an angry customer.

The clerk reminded me how important it is for us to share good will. And to remember the store clerks, often working for low wages, who deal a whole range of people and emotions every single hour they work on their feet. Some are so so. Others, like this lady, are exceptional.

They all deserve a dose of Christmas spirit during the busiest time of the year. Please, please make an extra effort to thank them and treat them well.

Your smile could be the only one they see for an entire hour or a whole day.

Share a moment of peace in the checkout lane.

The Tweeting Working Girl (or if Tess Tweeted)

“Your hair is so big no one knows you have a brain,” I was once told in the 80’s. “You’re just like Tess McGill in Working Girl.  No one knew what she thought with all that hair.”

Tess McGill was my heroine at the time.  She read everything she could find, about business, culture, whatever. And then she saw new ways to use that information and make money. Her stock broker bosses used her ideas as their own while Tess was trapped in her working class caste.  Most of the movie is based on her machinations to rebrand herself and get her ideas taken seriously.

During the course of the movie, she pretends to be a manager and crashes a wedding to get the right people to hear her ideas.  Once the right people hear her, they listen and take note. Of course, Tess gets caught. But at the end of the movie, she is finally taken seriously, on her own merit.

Working Girl is a movie that most likely won’t be remade. Why?

Tess McGill would be on Twitter. She would share her clever ideas a single tweet at a time, often with a punch line at the end. She could tweet opportunities. 

Most importantly, she could skip past the gatekeepers who never saw past her hair and get direct access to the people in charge.  They could develop relationships with her on Twitter such that when she came up with the ingenious plan to buy radio instead of television, they would first make time to meet with her and then would listen to her ideas.

If she did pretend to be a manager, someone in Twitterworld would catch up with her and call her out.  If her stuffy boss, Katharine Parker, deigned to be on Twitter and really wrote her own Tweets, her pretentious tweets would sound like twits.

I think if Tess had been on Twitter, she would have met Jack Trainer without the subterfuge, and they would have built their own business empire.

Not as interesting a movie. But I’ll bet $ stories like it happen on Twitter every day.

Twitter offers you the chance to be what you tweet. You can be judged on the character, intellect, and humor of your thoughts and deeds.

It’s a new world just like what pioneers sought 200 years ago. And it’s just as exciting.

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