What torment he must have felt.  I don’t have a prodigal. But every parent will go through moments of surprise at life decisions.

Letting go of my kids is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There are the worries – will they be safe? Will they be happy? Will they be ok?

Then there can be uncertainty or frustration – will they forget all they have been taught? During those years when I tried to share my heart and soul with them, did any of it stick? Or did I waste my life?

And then there is the sadness of missing these kids who were and are the light of my life.

As I think of the prodigal’s father, and as I watch my own children stretch to make their own journey, I remembered the final scene in Alex Haley’s Queen miniseries. Queen had survived a horrific life and when her own sons wanted to leave home, she wanted to hold them back. She told them the world was a mean place where they might get hurt. And actually (there were other causes), she went through a complete breakdown.

But when she recovered, and as she said farewell to her sons, she told them words I have paraphrased and used myself.

Wherever you go, always remember that there is a road back home, and that road is a lot shorter than the one it took for you to leave. The door is always open, you’re always welcome, and we love you very much.

My job now is to simply love them.

And with those words, I know as they venture on their own stories I’ll be covering them with prayer and daily singing Jean Valjean’s, “Bring him home,” with a heartfelt prayer to keep them both safe.

You can take
You can give
Let him be
Let him live
If I die, let me die
Let him live
Bring him home

Ash Wednesday had a poignant beginning as I realized it was the first time ever we were going to services without both of our kids. And of course part of that too was thinking that in two years, both our kids will be gone.

But during the service, there was a revelation…

We worship one God. We have one savior. Wherever my kids are and wherever they go, so long as there is an opportunity for Mass, we worship together in a different way….we listen to the same Bible readings and make the same Psalm responses. As we stand and listen to the same Gospel readings, we stand together wherever we are.  If they travel to other lands, in whatever language is spoken, we will listen to His word and can reflect on what it means in our lives.

My job is to play the role of Hannah as she did with Samuel. My children were a gift from God, and I’ve done my best to teach them what I know. The time has come and is coming for me to take them to the temple, trust them to God, and pray for them always. When in future years I see them, maybe instead of bringing them the coat I had made for them that year, I’ll bring something else. Since I don’t sew, it will probably be something knit or crochet, and that can take awhile….I’m still working on the afghan that was supposed to be a high school graduation present for my daughter. She hopes I’ll finish it by the time she graduates from college.

The challenges of the past several months give a new gravity to ashes on the forehead and hearing “from dust you were created and to dust you shall return.”

Wherever they go, I know that we can be together in the ways that matter most. Wherever they are, my prayer is they know how much they are loved and that their father and I will pray for them always, in this world and in the next.

And I pray they always remember our love is but an imperfect reflection of the all-powerful, all-knowing love of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer King.

As I watched news reports trickle out, I asked friends, “Where was the Jack Bauer hero?” We’ve all seen the movie where the hero, like Jack Bauer, or John McClane, or Jonas Blane from the Unit recognizes the bad guys need to be stopped, risks it all, and tries to rescue Americans? Except the movies and TV shows had a somewhat happy ending.

Where was the Todd Beamer of Flight 93?

Where were the many heroes like the Hoosiers who raced forward to rescue others immediately after the 2011 Indiana State Fair tragedy? Those who run towards the danger, putting the needs of others ahead of their own.

There were heroes who came forward in Benghazi, Libya. We have just neglected to honor them. Some have neglected to share the story of their heroics.

One of them was Tyrone Woods, who saw that the Libyan embassy was under attack, and help was desperately needed. He ignored two orders to “stand down” and went to try to rescue Americans under attack, as he had been trained.

For the next six hours, Woods and his companions fought alone, at times calling for help that never came, even calling out coordinates of where the terrorists were attacking them. Their calls were unanswered. They never quit fighting, and Woods died in that fight.

We hear so much about avoiding making this tragedy political that we have forgotten to honor the heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice for others.

How can we honor and show our appreciation for their selfless heroism? Where is the push to give Woods a Medal of Honor?

Every single day, law enforcement and military personnel lay their lives on the line to protect our lives and our freedom. Twenty-five years ago, I had the privilege of spending a day on an American carrier for a family day, where I saw thousands of dedicated soldiers and their families sacrificing their family time and their lives to help us all.

Veterans Day will soon be here. I sincerely hope that by that day, Tyrone Woods will receive the American honors he so deserves.

His story deserves to be told, and his heroics merit our appreciation.

So this fall….we tackled the turnip. I was pleasantly surprised that they were the best tasting turnips I had ever tried. Purists won’t like the whole recipe, but my teen-aged son and husband do.

• 3-4 sliced turnips
• 1 sliced onion
• Steak seasoning (with garlic and pepper or whatever your favorite herb mix is)
• Salt
• 2 Tablespoons Olive oil
• 1 Tablespoon bacon grease (ok – so this isn’t purist. However, it adds great flavor.)

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Spray a metallic pan (it caramelizes better). Put the turnips and onions into a bag or bowl. Stir or pour in the oil and turn until they are completely coated. Layer the turnips and onions in the pan.

Sprinkle spices. Bake the turnips about 10 minutes and then turn them. Continue baking them until the turnips are tender and are starting to brown.

Serve while warm.

This Sunday morning, we started one of our more colorful chats when I got to church. I ran late and slipped into the pew with my family during the first hymn. Things like that give a bad start to a morning of worship. As I sang and the service began, I started my divine chat…

“God, I’m never going to be Mrs. Mommy Perfect Wife who does everything right. I run late, I lose my temper, and sometimes I walk in these doors feeling like a misfit toy in the land of normal. If the Pharisee Squad were given the opportunity, I’m sure I would be the first one they would shoot because I’m irreverent, and I’ll never fit into their boards of square pegs.

“While they sit on the throne of perfection, I think of the people I’ve seen this week who are lost, hurting, and who just need someone – anyone – to tell them they matter. I’ve walked their walk and know how they feel and know exactly how badly they need to be loved and to   know the hope of Jesus Christ.”

As this freight train of a self-doubting conversation roared through my head during my chat with God, I felt as though I wasn’t worthy to be there and resisted the urge to flee.

Resting my eyes upon the crucifix, my prayer grew more intense as I begged Jesus,

“Lord, show me why I’m here. Help me focus on you and stop the doubts that pound at me from every direction.”

The sermon ended, and it was time to sing a hymn during the offering and presentation of gifts. As the hymn’s title was announced, I nearly jumped with surprise. We were singing “Amazing Grace.”

Jesus answered my prayer. “Amazing Grace” is my victory song and motivator. Every morning on my way to work, the first thing I do is sing “Amazing Grace,” followed by the “Star Spangled Banner.” Those songs are my muse, that help me start each day in a mental frame of thanksgiving and patriotism. Only in America, and only by the grace of a gracious God, could someone like me, with my background break the chains that bound me and build a simple, quiet life.

As I began to sing, I remembered the story of how John Newton wrote “Amazing Grace,” after he was rescued in a storm.

An amazing grace, that passed all understanding, set him free. It set me free.

And whenever those doubts rear their heads, or when I get distracted by members of Pharisee Squads, I must remember not to let them interfere with my relationship or chats with God.

Through many dangers, toils and snares…we have already come.
T’was Grace that brought us safe thus far…
and Grace will lead us home.

I was called to lift people up with encouraging words and occasional joke – what some may refer to as “Hallmark card writing” as a disparaging term. That’s ok.

I have seen too much tragedy and suffering in this world and experienced too much of it first hand. Because of those experiences, I am fulfilled as a Hallmark cream and sugar writer who seeks ways to make the challenge of everyday living easier with a few kind words that might sometimes be funny.

Others may be called to lead armies, run multinational businesses, or inspire political movements.

I was called to something more ordinary – to be there for my friends and family when they need me, to help them solve problems as needed. And to try with cream and sugar words to inspire people to aim higher, work harder, and find common ground with one another.

For me, the beauty of being a cream and sugar writer is that I see the extraordinary in the common – the hand of God at work in every day lives, in small ways. And I try to share that vision with other people.

If we spend all our time proclaiming truth from mountaintops, however right that truth may be, we might just not notice the walking wounded we passed on the road up that mountain – those who needed a friendly smile, a pat on the back, and an encouraging word. If the walking wounded are bleeding to death from broken hearts, then proclaiming truth and judgment at them, no matter how right that truth is, is not going to save their lives. They need personal care and attention mixed with a heaping dose of love.

And sometimes that helps comes by way of  words in a cream and sugar Hallmark message.

St. Therese of Liseux wrote of the wonder of doing small things with great love.  That’s what I hope I do with words.

In a world where manners are in great demand and low supply, wouldn’t we be better off with a few more Hallmark writers?

Earlier this year, a commentator went off on a woman he disagreed with and called her names. Now a political operative tried to re-ignite the Mommy Wars by saying a mother of five had never worked a day in her life.

What? Both were wrong and out of line. They are on other sides of the spectrum but are using the same destructive tactic.

It’s common sense 101 that name-calling and insults don’t set the stage for productive dialogue. A name-calling, insult-driven rant may make for good television ratings, but it also builds walls between people and has no productive outcome.

Why do professionals who should know better stoop to conquer by insult? They do it because we watch it. We clamor to give a Jerry Springer “fight fight fight” tone to every debate. When we watch the shows, the ratings go up, ads are sold, and our national conversation stoops to even lower levels.

So what can I do to change the tone and raise our level of national dialogue? What can you do?

We can resolve to personally remember and respect the dignity of every single person we know. If we raise the level of our personal conversation, perhaps that can inspire others to do the same.  Then we can get something done and make a difference – as in a positive difference.

Leave those who prefer to mud wrestle and insult to play their game, call their names, and fight with each other.

I choose not to.

In frustration, last week, I turned my laptop around. Instead of sitting at my desk that faces a wall, I changed seats, turned around, and faced in the opposite direction.

With that simple change in perspective, my writer’s block dislodged. Out poured the writing and the projects.

That made me think of what we do with a clogged drain. We try one approach to clear it and then another.  If we run a snake down the drain and it doesn’t work, we might shift the direction a little to see if that helps. Sometimes, it does.

So the next time a problem stumps you, try shifting your perspective. Looking at the problem from a new angle can make all the difference.

We can talk in real time, share projects, and more. Smart businesses will analyze their product mixes and determine if there is a way they can broaden their reach to other geographic areas. Social media, blogging, and web design that are fully integrated can make that happen.

This morning, I’m giving a talk, Global is the New Local to an area business group. Local entrepreneurs and businesses in my area are making wise use of social media to grow their business bases and develop strategic relationships. Because of their savvy efforts, they have a crisis management team in place in the unfortunate event it might one day be needed.

We all know the ones on the nice list get the coolest toys, or in the case of business networking, more business referrals.

So….what puts you on the naughty list or the nice list?

Nice List:

• Make referrals to others in the networking group.
• Do a good job on follow up on referrals you receive.
• Listen more than you talk.
• Observe the group’s structure and rules. Some groups welcome guests; others have a procedure. Show respect for other group members by honoring their structure.
• If you don’t fit with a group’s structure, leave. Don’t fight and cause division. There are plenty of other networking opportunities which might better fit your style.
• Follow time guidelines and meeting agendas.
• Tell the truth at all times.
• Encourage other group members at all opportunities.
• Make a point to attend regularly.

Naughty List:

• Don’t refer to others in the group.
• Drop the ball on referrals you receive. Don’t call back, do shoddy work, or don’t finish the job.
• If you hire someone in the group, fail to pay them. Ask them to give you their work for free.
• Ignore the group’s structure and rules. Those guidelines are for other people, not you.
• Sow seeds of discord to get your way. Pit people against one another. If there is conflict, dig in your heels and do what it takes to reach your end goal. The end justifies the means.
• Ignore time guidelines and agendas and talk as long as you please. But insist others follow time guidelines.
• Go after the target markets of other members of the networking group. Cut down their product and announce you’ll do work better than they do.
• Consider the truth a guideline goal to be pushed aside when things need to happen to get your way.

You will get out of business networking what you put into it. If you follow the points of the nice list, good things will come your way.

If you instead follow the naughty list, you won’t get a bundle of switches in your stocking. However, over time, you will get fewer referrals and less business.

Hang your stockings and work your business networking with equal care for the future.