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If You Give a Mom a Shirt | Mary Biever | One Writing Mother

If You Give a Mom a Shirt

If you give a mom your credit card 3 days before Christmas and tell her to treat herself, she might go shopping.

If she goes shopping, she might find a shirt she likes on the clearance rack.

If she finds a shirt she likes, she might buy it.

If she buys it, she might give it back to you, with the credit card and a suggestion that it would be nice if it were wrapped.

If it’s wrapped, it might go under the Christmas tree.

If it goes under the Christmas tree, she’ll probably open it.

If she opens it and Christmas Day is a  Sunday, she might wear it to church.

If she wears her new shirt to church, she will probably feel happy that she’s wearing her new Christmas present, she likes it, and it fits.

If she feels happy she’s wearing it, she will most likely keep wearing it after church for Christmas dinner.

If she’s still wearing it while she preps Christmas dinner, her husband might notice a problem.

If he notices a problem and says so, she may ask what it is.

If she asks what it is, he could tell her there is still a sticker on the shirt.

If he tells her there is still a sticker on the shirt, she could look down to see it.

If she looks down to see it, she could gasp in dismay.

When she gasps in dismay, she most definitely will yank the sticker off the shirt. A small, round sticker. On the left side of the shirt. She just wore to church in front of God and everybody.

After she yanks off the sticker, she may think but will not say that her Christmas treat ended up being a booby prize.

If she thinks it’s a booby prize, she still will not say whether it was small, medium, large, or extra large.

Though she will not say the size, she will say laughter is always a Christmas treat.

Tis the season!


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