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Finding a Good Man on Easter | Mary Biever | One Writing Mother

Finding a Good Man on Easter

Lent is over – Easter arrived. When we give things up during Lent, I often think of how I can give up something that is distracting me. Little did  realize this Lent how I would be called to do that this year. And when I found the strength to remove bad things from my plate, I was able to see and better appreciate good things in my life.

I’ve not been a member of the She Woman Man Haters Club for decades. But I’ve read the story “A Good Man Is Hard to Find” and know many who repeat that phrase.

But I think we often underestimate the quiet men in our midst. My grandmother married a good man just after I was born. In the skewed worldview of my father who was no father, I learned to mentally dismiss him as a steady guy who wasn’t that sharp. When I was 30, in the last year of my grandmother’s life, I saw the power of a strong, quiet man who loved his wife. In his mid-80’s, with precarious health and a heart condition, Ray Dunbar stood up for his wife against my father. I saw his integrity and devotion to my grandmother. Ray was a hero.

I’ve known my husband for 25 years. He, too, is a quiet man. He saw potential on our first date – potential for us to get along well in addition to potential for problems. He focused on the good potential and resolved to weather the problems. I still don’t know why. I had a chip of resentment on my shoulder the size of a boulder, and Richard quietly loved that chip away. Eighteen years ago, I came back to the Lord with Richard’s silent support and witness.

As I dealt with the problems he had seen the potential for, his standard line was, “You should spend time with people who love you and value you.” With that statement, he would drop it and we would keep going.

Finally, this spring, the potential problems of 25 years burst forth, and I took action to remove them from our lives. For years if not decades, I have at times mourned the loss of things I didn’t have. When I watched Richard with our kids, I felt an unspoken ache that I’ve no idea what it is like to have a good father. It is easy to mourn the things we don’t have.

Richard helped me through it, just like he’s helped me through other challenges. In 25 years, we’ve lost a baby, worked our way through a home and business fire, and worked through my recovery after a heart attack. At the same time, we’ve raised 2 kids and built a business.

This weekend, I realized how lucky I am to have the steady support of a husband who isn’t leaving and has given our children a lifelong example of integrity.

In Doctor Who, Rory Williams first seemed like an aside to the strong character of Amy Pond. But he married her, and eventually through a story line he spent 1,894 years watching over Amy…because of his love and devotion to her.

I don’t know what that’s like. But this Easter, I realized Richard is my Rory. He’s stood by my side for 25 years, without complaint, dealing with whatever comes our way. He had faith in God when I had none. And he had faith in me before I had it in myself.

At the end of The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy learned her heart’s desire had always been in her own back yard.

I don’t need to click my heels 3 times, but I know there’s no place like home, no one like my husband and kids, and I’m one of the luckiest women on the planet. I found a good man 25 years ago, but today, on Easter Sunday, I appreciate him more than ever.

“The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.”  – Saint Thomas More


Wow. It's Quiet Here...

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